In case you don’t know, one of the fastest ways to piss off your bartender is to whistle as a means of communication. There is literally never a situation that calls for anybody to whistle at the bartender.
Now, each bartender is different; and depending on the individual bartender, the response generated by whistling can be passive or direct. I’m direct.
This is what it looked like for a guest whistling at me in the spring of 2013:
Guest: (Whistles with hand in the air)
Bartender: (Walks over to guest) Hey.
Guest: Give me a Bud Light.
Bartender: I might be ugly, but I’m not a dog.
Guest: What?
Bartender: Don’t whistle at me, I went to community college but I do understand spoken language.
Guest: Well I wanted to get your attention, I needed a beer!
Bartender: Great, you got my attention, you still need a beer and whistling at the bartender is a dick move.
Guest: You don’t have to be rude.
Bartender: You established that our thirty-second relationship would be based on being rude when you whistled at me. Do you honestly think it’s normal to whistle at the bartender when you need something? Let me give you some free advice. Try using the words “excuse me” or “hello” or “yo” or “wusup” or anything besides a whistle.
Guest: Okay, I’m sorry.
Bartender: Thank you.
Guest: Can I get a Bud Light now?
Bartender: Of course, can I see some ID please?
Guest: I don’t have my ID, but I have a picture of it on my phone…
Bartender: Have a nice day.
It’s just basic math to show the person who’s going to be serving you a little more respect than a whistle across the bar. You might get a very passive bartender who doesn’t take it personal like I do, but then again, you might just get somebody like me.
P.S. No, snapping your fingers is not tolerated either. C’mon man!
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